In the last year, I learned that I do not know how to have fun, or relax. I began working when I was 16 and did my first internship when I was 17. During college, I had an internship every term and every summer. Somewhere in there, I forgot how to have fun. If you went to school with me, this will not come as any surprise to you.
I confess that I was that girl who didn’t understand why everyone else didn’t take work at the school’s PR firm more seriously. I thought, “What could possibly be more important than this? Why aren’t you willing to sacrifice your life for this?” I realize now that, I was a bit of…well, let’s just say it… a bitch and for that I’m incredibly sorry. Housemates would ask if I was going to the barn dance and I would say (on a Friday night), “No, I need to get a head start on a paper.” Yes, I was that girl. It’s embarrassing. I had NO balance in my life. I was all work, all the time. I only knew how to be in overdrive. Work first, play later. That was my motto. Unfortunately, the “play” part often was skipped and I went right back to working.
The pivotal problem is that I love working. I feel very blessed to find a profession that plays to all my strengths (writing, creativity, planning) and leaves out my weaknesses (math). I genuinely think PR is fun. Therefore, I honestly didn’t think my life was out of balance because I was having a lot of fun.
When life came to a screeching halt last June, I literally had no idea what to do with myself.
The strange thing is that before age 16, if you had asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, I would have replied, “Live at Young Life camp.” Once upon a time, I specialized in having fun. However, I’ve dramatically swung in the opposite direction and getting back is proving to be a challenge.
While my I’m happy to report that my health is finally improving, I still have a very long way to go. In this season, I’m learning how to relax. Learning how to have fun, is well, still a work in process.
Do you struggle with balance? How do you have fun when you’re not working?