One of my personal weaknesses is change; specifically, change in routine. I thrive in routine. For almost two years now I’ve been struggling with illness, which has thrown me into a massive change in routine.
Some aspect of my health are improving, but there are others that are still so intense they prevent me from working full-time. What’s challenging is that my hobby is also my profession. For now, I’ve been doing some freelance for a couple non-profits including my church. While I’m grateful for a creative outlet during this time, it definitely makes me hunger even more for the competitive thrill of working full-time. I derive great satisfaction from working hard and learning new things. Therefore, being in bed for days on end is torture (on multiple levels).
I’ve also found that I don’t like working from home. While freelance is a good fit for my current circumstances, I miss being on a team. I miss the collaboration. My team at CMD was the best.
One of the things I’ve been struggling with is this blog. I started this blog the summer before my senior year in collage and intended to use it to write about my thoughts, lessons and experiences as a young PR student. Once I graduated, I wrote about internships and jobs. Now that I’m not working, I’ve been struggling with what to write about. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have anything valuable to say here. Other times, I’m in too much pain to write.
While this season of my life was certainly never apart of “the plan,” I’m learning that that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I don’t know why this is happening to me or why it’s taking so long to recover, but I’m learning to trust that this season has a purpose.
I’m a fairly private person and that’s why I haven’t shared much about this season here or on other social channels. I have good days and bad days and I tend to only post pictures and updates from the good days. I’m not one to tweet, “Having the worst day ever. Went to the hospital again. Pain is through the roof.” Self-pity, party of one? I don’t think so. Not on my watch.
I love to blog and I hope you don’t mind hanging in with me during this change in routine dear readers.